Monday, September 5, 2016

The journey of housemanship and life married to a doctor!~

Today I am going to write about life as a doctor and married to another doctor!
It sounds hectic.
Yes it is.
You know what they say that..medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else?
Yes, I cannot imagine what am I going to do if I were not a doctor.
I cannot sketch, I am useless when it comes to being creative, I am clueless about designing, numbers, organizing, talking and many more!
So just be a doctor, okay? haha.

Being a doctor has been so amazing.
I don't think that I will ever have a job quite so fun ever again. (I like to find fun in everything that I do, might not be so much fun for everybody hehehe)
I will not tell you that it's easy, it is a very long process!foundation, 6 years of medical school, 2 years of housemanship, years of residency..and even longer years of specialization,  and finally you get to be what you have trained all your life for.
It will be worth it.
At least that was what people has been telling me all these years, haha

I was 26!
Muda remaja sangat , doctors mmg start keje pon dah tua hahahahahha~~

Honeymoon masa houseman, cuti sehari pon Encik Lebah drove us to Kuching, pegi pantai!

After I graduated in 2009, and after I took six months of rest!
(yes you should go backpacking, travelling around the world, well at least New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, for me hehe, you should enjoy the sun, go to the beach, go to cafes, eat whatever, before you are doomed to start housemanship in Malaysia!)
I was placed at Sibu Hospital, Sarawak.
Yes, Sarawak.
My husband (during that time, he was still a boyfriend, hehe) was also placed there.
There were few others with him, but they all bailed out at the very last minute
(well, I guess they were uncertain of the joy, fun, and adventures that Sarawak will give to them!)
So he went there alone.
and..I have been to so many difficult places, so Sarawak, Borneo is just another challenge, and I took it with a brave heart!
and I am very proud of myself~~
I went there about 2 months after him.
I would have gone to Sarawak any way regardless of him being there or not.
Why hesitated?  If it's good it's wonderful, if its bad, it's experience, no regret!
Many were afraid of doing housemanship in Malaysia, let alone in Sarawak.
My advise, go to Sarawak! Go somewhere far from your comfort zone, you are young and free!~
Naik boat, naik helicopter, pegi rural areas, dont just stay in Klang Valley, bed of roses, go see the real life of our people, the struggle to live, to survive and then you will learn.
Many have succumbed to the extremely demanding ,heart-wrenching, and tough training during housemanship.
But it had made you who you are today.

Anna and Najib doing the nights call together, and bersengkang mata berhari2 di emergency depatment aahhahaha, how romantic!
during that time, I know no bedak, no lipstick, no eyeliner whatsoever, since I got that panda eyes for free hahaha~~

The lowest in the hierarchy of a hospital. (at least, that was what it felt like!)
I was about two months behind my husband in each postings, and coming back from New Zealand, made me feel so clueless about working in our Malaysian wards.
Obviously, there's no more phlebotomists. no more fancy equipments, no more friendly people, haha!
They were all looking so exhausted and angry.
I did not blame them, as the workloads were huge.
I earned the nicknames of "Otago", "Otago girl", "New Zealand HO (house officer)" since my first day, and my first posting was Paediatrics. (just kill me!)
It took me about one year to lose the accents, and master the skill of malaysian english haha.
There were only about ten of us, the malay fellas doing housemanship, in the whole hospital, and everybody else around us were speaking Chinese!
I used to laugh (well, actually annoyedd!) whenever I got the turn to jot down the management plan, and my fellow collegues were speaking Chinese, they soon realized that it was not appropriate, and spoke English, finally. sigh~~
But I got to pick up some chinese words, and at the end of my housemanship training, I can make quite good guess on what they are saying despite of not knowing foochow.
I would say, Medicine and Paediatrics were the hardest.
The toughest of all.
Many have fallen.

I remember, my first day of houseman.
I was afraid to take lunch break, dinner break, and I came back to hostel at 12am. ..and I had to tag for more than two weeks.
(new houseman required to do tagging with senior houseman from 7 am till 11 to 12 midnight for about 2weeks back then!)
It was tiring, and depressing not seeing the sun for weeks..! But I did not crumble. (with the help of friends and Encik Lebah, of course!)
I managed to absorb the pressure well, I became skin and bones due to hectic schedule being a houseman. But i learned heaps.
We all, the housemen, usually sneaked in to the pantry looking like hungry zombies and ate the hospital food (the leftovers of course, huhu can i cry now? haha)
Looking back at it, being a houseman, was absolutely torture (due to long working hours back then, and shortage of staff) but was a fantastic experience!
And the pay was quite good for newbies, (you get extra allowance if you work in Sarawak ehehhee)
So countless fancy restaurants for dinner that time hahahah (I wish I save some duhhhhhh!)
I was intrigued by the seriousness of the job, and the amount of expectations from everybody, just killing us all haha.
During that time, I kept telling myself that this will be over in two years and you will look back and laugh about it! And I did~~ :)

Memories in Hospital Sibu, Sarawak~~
Double chest tubes, flail chests, patah riuk, CPRs, kes sembelih2 org, omg!! I love the adrenaline rush!!

I remember that most of our time were in the hospital.
I can barely remember, the time that I was free during housemanship.
We worked seven days a week!
And we survived!
Even got married during the second year of housemanship! haha.
My husband and I, enjoyed our housemanship training, despite of all the hardship,
We made good friends, Faridah, Nurul, Hanif, Hisham, Abu, Ahmad, Shiv, Robert Lau (ini karakter pembuli houseman terbaik!), Brian, Priscilla, Naomi, Mei Ting, the twins, many more, the MOs, the specialists, the nurses, the MAs, I could not name everyone here, but they are good friends and acquaintances!
We helped each other and usually went out for dinner together during postcalls (after 36 hours of staying awake, we still manage to go for food, karaoke, movie nights and badminton!! So much energy back then! haha tgh muda remaja la kan~

Sweet sweet moments having your husband as your fellow colleague;~~
We can talk just about everything!
..He knows exactly what I am talking about, and we can express our excitement or likes and dislikes towards anything haha it usually about hospitals, diseases and treatments and attitudes and whatever related to medical profession haha!
Loser sungguh doctors kann hehe.,

We enjoyed helping each other during oncalls~~
..Spend the nights in tiny oncall rooms, and had to get up at 3 or 4 am to help him take bloods of the whole dengue ward, haha, and I enjoyed this so much.
He would stay in the oncall room whenever I was oncall, and helped me buy food, making sure that I eat..hehehe..mmm..Mmg sehati sejiwa betul time tu rasanya chewah! macam grey's anatomy gitu.:P

We can talk in that strange language of medicine and people wont have a clue ooopssss!

It is just so exciting to go to work with someone you love hhahaha sorry if it sounds so cornyyyyyyy heheehhee :P

Work hard also means play hard, so day off or holidays will be so meaningful and precious, so yes, went to europe during housemanship for honeymoon, and seluruh sabah sarawak and peninsular Malaysia, till now dah tatau nak kemana!!

...the not so sweet moments ???

Being scolded for silly mistakes in front of your husband and he could not do anything other than smiling haha

You were in the same department and in the same hospital, but have not seen each other for days!

When you had the day off, and your husband still working = not going anywhere, might as well just go to work and spend time together in the emergency department!!

When you are just so tired working, day off equals to sleeping the whole day and not talking to anyone including your husband!! hahahahaha

When you both are so busy, and have not seen your family or relatives for quite some time, and missing out on all the weddings, kenduri kendara and people were like, where have you both beeeeenn???!!!!

And now,
after Sarawak, after Kuala Lipis, another district after another,
after all the dramas,
hardwork in the hospitals,
we got pregnant with Ammar, that has changed everything.
We realized it's not always about us anymore, hehehe :P
We decided to venture into non-clinical medicine, and landed in Putrajaya.
And it is a great place for us.
We learn the other side of medicine, and still doctors! (coz people usually generalized doctors equal to blood and hospital only hehehe)
Contributing to the world of evidence based medicine, policy making, health economy and such.
We have definitely found our passion.
After all these years..

But above all that,
Seeing the sun and the sunset, everyday.
Having the luxury of time with kids,
is so so priceless.
Alhamdulillah~~thank you Allah for this opportunity

p.s no matter what kind of doctors you gonna be, be a great one, a humble one, a caring one, a loving one, and enjoy your work doctors!

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Do more of what makes you happy~~

It's January 2016.
What can you do today that you were not capable of 12 months ago?
Well, well, well..

I can sleep thru the night now without the need to wake up every 2 to 3 hours to feed Ammar!
At about 18 months old, he sleeps all night long from 8.30 pm till 8am the next morning.
I guess, he is full since I stuffed him with all my cooking during dinner, and milk before bed!
Plus, he rarely does acrobatics during his sleep so I can doze off peacefully in our cool bedroom~~

I can just leave him in his cozy carseat during car rides.
Training him to stay in his carseat was tiring, but worth it.
Start early and be consistent.
Do not give in! Stick to it because it is a battle of power between you and him!
Look at that happy mommy hahaha, boleh la makan, nyanyi bagai dalam kereta hehehe~~

I have memorized more than 10 nursery rhymes and can sing to you like Hi-5!
I have mastered the skill of multitasking involving singing nursery rhymes in the car while preparing milk or acting like a talented artist trying to sketch cars, cats and all sort of animals while eating in the restaurants, just to make him happy in that baby chair~~!

We have dating days Encik Lebah and I, finally! After two years haha~~ 
We have tried several times to take day off last year, but we felt that guilt leaving little one-year-old Ammar just to have time with ourselves..( I could not concentrate in the cinema,  is Ammar doing okay right now, did he cry, did he try to find where is his mommy and daddy?..haha)
Now that he is two, we finally have our dating days! We took leave just to watch Dilwale! hahahaha and had our lunch at Seoul Garden together, it was a nice date, we shall do this again! right Encik Lebah?! :) :)

I become supermommy (at least for Ammar haha) who does her cooking in 30 minutes for dinner and constantly thinking about what to cook for my toodler son!
Jamie's 30-minutes meals, that is my favourite cooking show.
You can do so many things in 30 minutes!
And my cooking reflects on simplicity and basic.
There were times that Ammar rejects what I have prepared for him, well, he is just like another toddler..but do not give in, at least try to give something healthy.
My philosophy on cooking is that..I would not do any dishes that will keep everyone waiting haha, I just need to feed them good food and fast!
You know you should eat dinner before 7pm right? hehe~~

My little toddler who loves motorbikes..
And it's quite hard to find motorbikes toys around since so many kids love cars instead of motorbikes~~
That expression is truly happiness :)

He finally called me MUMMY one time precisely on 11th January 2015, at the age of 25 months old haha and he has not repeat the word since erghhh haahhaa..(over la mummy ni)

I love my work and my time with family now, it is much much much much better (believe me, I wanted to type many more much!), and I am happier than ever, alhamdulillah~~
I enjoy my work, I have done many writings and systematic reviews, although they maybe not at par with my senior colleagues (they will be, one day insyaAllah)..
I found that my work now really suits me well..It feeds my curiosity towards medicine.
Hence working in research is a great field for me.:)
The curious me in making the world  a better place .. haha (imagination melampau!!)
and most importantly, I can live now. I thank Allah for the time that He has given me. Alhamdulillah~~

And she loves a little boy very, very much even more than she loves herself..

Dare to live fully.
Do more of what makes you happy.
It may be the road that less taken..but it may be the road to your ultimate success, insyaAllah.
I wanna learn baking!
Learn to overcome my fear of driving haha dont laugh!
Eat more healthy meals, live a healthy lifestyle,
Learn something new everyday,
I wanna be a loving mommy, a cool wife, a positive person, a better person, insyaAllah~~

P.S Love yourself, be happy.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

A new year is on the way and the possibilities are endless~~

As this year is ending,
I wish all the negativity and difficulties also end with this year
and 2016 will bring success and desired results for all of us~~ insyaAllah.
And thanks for not laughing at my absurdly unattainable 2015 new year's resolutions..iaitu nak kurus healthily!
Haha, I still have not shed this stubborn 5 kilos since I have Ammar. Its been two years already haha.
Looks like I have to embrace the new me, like what Encik Lebah always said.
A mummy.
                                        Pilot Ammar during his first visit to Muzium TUDM,
                             Pandangan macho from Pilot Ammar haha~~ sampai baju terangkat!

2015 is one great year. Alhamdulillah.
Ammar is growing up so fast at home, and we have had three nannies so far!
The first one took care of Ammar at home for 1 year and 8 months! She was a superb nanny albeit she is only 19 years old! ~~
It is exciting when thinking about Ammar going to kindy later, insyaAllah.
Mummy yg excited nak tgk Ammar pegi kindergarten, and yet also Mummy anxious how Ammar will have to cope with new environment, and getting new friends.
Still long way to go but it will be a new challenge for him.
Cumanya, nowadays tadika starts so early at the age of 4?
I wonder whats the evidence behind that.
Does that making our children wiser?
Because I thought playschool is much more important.
Playing is the serious part of learning for children.
But in Malaysia, the exam-oriented learning starts way too early I think.
By standard one, your children are expected to be able to read and write.?!
Isn't that too early? I remember my kindergarten when I was 6 years old, we were learning alphabets and nursery rhymes, and I learned how to read and write when I was 7 years old.
And I am sure almost all our friends born in same year went thru the same thing,
And we are running the country right now, ececewah.
But yes, my point is, do we need to expect these young ones to have that academic syllabus at the age of four? But if that becomes the norm, then we have no choice...
Our children have to face the challenges of demanding future ahead of them.
Oh my son dah nak besar!~~
                       A walk to remember~~ Daddy and son bonding time...captured in this photo.
      Thank you for making 2015 amazing, dear husband. You have been a very good father, a loving                 husband, a caring partner, an ambitious doctor, a humble son, a wonderful person.
                                            Thank you for making us happy, alhamdulillah~~

2015, we took small brave step, applying for Masters.
I applied for Master in Health Technology Assessment (MPH HTA) and Encik Lebah applied for Master in Health Economics.
Both under Masters in Special Interests, and in Birmigham UK
Up till today, there is not one single doctor who holds this master in HTA in Malaysia and there's only one doctor who graduated from Birmi that held Master in Health Econs
So, they really fall under special interest category.
As we are all well aware, evidence based medicine has grown fast in Malaysia these recent years, and the demands for specialists in this area is undeniable.
So, we were thinking, why not?
Dare to be different.
We went to the HLP interview last November, and the candidates were all outstanding.
There were about 60 plus candidates, and the place for HLP are about 6 places.
So I knew there and then that our chances are very very slim, but attending the interviews and applying were already big steps for us. It was a good experience.
It doesnt matter if we got in or not.
There's always another chance. InsyaAllah.

23-months-old Ammar.
With his bike.
Gift from beloved Tok Ma and Tok Abah!
~~gewammm la mummy!!

He is looking more like a boy now.
Cheeky chubby boy!
He is losing his baby fat already.
Becoming more active.
More manja!
Melt melt melt~~

It is always our dream to do masters together in overseas.
And dreams do come true.
It's not wrong to dream big.
If your dreams dont scare you, they arent big enough.
So never give up a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, the time will pass anyway..:)

I guess, support from the superiors is very much crucial to our career development
There should be more encouragement, ethusiasm, positive attitudes towards encouraging the young ones to pursue their dreams
We should all learn how to treat the young ones professionally and inspire them.
You should not just be a leader, but to be inspirational to other people
Inspire them to learn,
to go after their dreams,
after all,
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world~~

2015, The year most challenging for doctors.
complaints, complaints and complaints.
Viral posts, anti-vaccination groups, natural birth squad and so much expectations from doctors.
What can we learn from that?
It seems to me that our people becoming more aware about their illness, the medical treatments, their autonomy and rights.
So, it is our duty as doctors, in this new era of media social, where information travel within seconds, to buck up on our knowledge, to face this new challenges!
Be updated, be ethical, and be smart!
Because your patients are getting smarter than you, doctors! So wake up~~!
Ammar, Daddy and Mummy on Mummy's birthday in October~~
at Avillion Admiral Cove, Port Dickson.

My baby toddler at 23 months old.
His full time job is playing.
Climbing everything.
saying more words.
Getting more active! Look at him all happy~~

November, is Ammar's birthday month.
This year theme was Dibo the gift dragon.
This cartoon series are Ammar's favourite. He will sing dibodibodibodiboding!
He loves the dragon Dibo and pink rabbit named Bunny.
He will get all giggly when the show's on.
Dibo the cake by the scrummycakedesign, comel sgt! Ammar suka!

Happy Birthday Dear Ammar, you are two years old on 15th November 2015. Alhamdulillah~~
The Otago clan on Ammar's birthday~
Our house was packed with kids and kids stuff. haha.
It was great, and a fun day! Thanks guys!

Ibrahim, Ammar and Sakura, had good time that day.
Siap sampai mandi, outdoor session, and tuka baju bagai!
so, next will be Ibrahim and Sakura's birthday!! Yayyy~~~! Tak sabar nak pegi birthday parties eh Ammar?!
The chubby little family,
Us, during birthday celebration in December for Daddy in Malacca~~

2015 has come to end. Alhamdulillah for the happy year.
Welcome 2016. Let us start with Bismillah~~
InsyaAllah 2016 will offer more opportunities to become better person, and insyaAllah dikurniakan perlindungan, rezeki dan rahmat dariNya.

See you next year!