Thursday, February 15, 2018

Saying goodbye to 2017~~

Gosh, 2017 is ending up too soon!
I hate it to be gone for so long and back again, and lost track of time due to my tremendous job of being a mom of two, cewah~~!
I think I just gave birth to Marissa like yesterday,
and now, she is almost 10 months old!
She is growing up too fast that I cannot keep up on updating her progress, sigh~~
haha. Well, I'll try my best!
Since the incidence of Alzheimer's is increasing these days (but no please no, haha takut), I gotta keep this as a documentation of you, kiddies and us growing together as a family,
so that one rainbow day, you will be able to read all this, with me and daddy still by your sides, insyaAllah amin.

Fast rewind to pick up where I left off.
We found two kind-hearted nannies who are willing to take care of Ammar and Marissa and are able to run errands for us, alhamdulillah~~They both stayed with us, and I have to tell you that they are so helpful (of course, it costs us bombs! to have them two haha)
I know it looks like why-do-you-have-to-have-two, sounds a little too much right.
well, we wanted the kids to have as normal life as possible along with us working full time.
I can easily cry over kids screaming they don't want to go to nursery at 6.30am (I hear them a lot in my neighbourhood huhu)
on my first day of work after maternity leave for 100days!
I got teary just by stumbling upon mommies carrying their babies and toddlers to work at 6.30am.
I remember sobbing just because I saw the last child waiting for his parents at the kindy about 7.30pm at night!
I want our kids to be able to enjoy childhood, waking up at 8, in their own home, and go to playschool till 12pm, and back to home and have lunches, get their proper nap.
Alhamdulillah for the time being, we are able to make that happen for them.
Thanks to the nannies~~who treat them with love.
I have always wanted to care of the kids full time, but to have a comfortable life and good education in Malaysia, resign is not yet an option for me right now.
I would have to settle with the best that we can afford right now, for childcare.
And Alhamdulillah~~the kids are well taken care of.

Marissa Anna and Mommy Anna at 4months old.
wearing her first dress ever.
with her first shoes.
Her first of everything fancy? no no no takboleh ok,
hehe, for many more to come, insyaAllah~~

At welcoming makan makan for Marissa Anna to the family.
Mommy cooked with the help of the nannies, Nasik Biryani Ayam merah and jelatah for 50 people!
Phewww! Flip tudung! hehehe~~~

4months old Marissa Anna Humaira.
weighing 7.5kg
chuckles, making more sounds hehe,
and able to turn from back to prone
Getting chubbier each day!

Marissa's first vacation to Penang Island!
During Ammar's time, mommy could just relax while Ammar slept all the way and everytime he is in the carseat.
Well, it's completely opposite for Marissa Anna.
She can bertahan for only an hour or less, and then she will wail and wail for me to pick her up~sigh

32-year-old Anna with 4-months-young Anna.
Can't believe two people came out of me, haha~
I think baby Anna is a mini me.
Obviously her colour matches mine haha,
and I can see her characters starting to shine and amazingly similar to me~~ haha

Returning to work after a long weekend is always hard.
Returning to work after maternity leave is the hardest.!
People will scrutiny your body and make comments...haha people expected you to slim down and fit old clothes, screw them, I'd say buy new clothes!
Put on new smiles.
Embrace the new you.
You are never the same Anna.
You are now a mother of two. A working mother of two.!
Now that sounds hard!

Marissa Anna sits at 5months old.
She hijacked every book that belongs to Abg Ammar. (look how 'happy' Abg Ammar was, tak rela buku diambik marissa!)
She is 8kg plus by now.
Still quite bald.

 Abg Ammar is trying his best to adjust to Marissa.
Look at him trying!
And he is doing good. :)
Mommy is proud of you baby, it's your sister sayang!

Marissa had the right positional CTEV (congenital talipes equinovarus) or clubfoot at birth, she was 3.4kg, maybe squeezed inside me.
Anyway she had one follow up and was discharged from OT. Alhamdulillah~~
She also has intermittent squint at birth which slowly disappeared at about six months old.
I voiced my concern about her eyes to the peads but they reassured that the squint will go away and that we have to observe for six months.
Alhamdulillah, it was gone without any interventions.
Just the duas. Thank you Allah.

Marissa Anna Humaira on her first vacation to Penang Island~~ stayed at Four Points by Sheraton, Tanjong Bungah,
Marissa Anna was shortly admitted to Hospital Putrajaya for pharyngitis with poor oral intake at the age of 6months old, and unfortunately caught measles from the next bedder and readmitted in the isolation ward after that for 4days!
She was so miserable at that time. so unlucky to caught measles in the hospital but alhamdulillah she recovered well.
Mommy had to sahur and break fast in the ward with you little cutie pie and shed few kilos due to exhaustion~~
Alhamdulillah back to house before Eid.

Our little family on the first day of Aidilfitri 2017.
Marissa Anna's first Eid.
In Sabak Bernam, Selangor~~

She is 7months old.
Weighing nearly 9kgs.
Us in purple.

Mommy Anna and Marissa Anna on third day of Eid in Kg Kuala Balah, Kelate, isn't she a cutie pie!

I guess it is true what they say...daugthers are adorable!
She is adorable.
Her smiles. Her dress. Her hairban, her eyes.
Everything about her is so tiny, chubby and sweeetttttttt.
Alhamdulillah for this daughter.
the darling of our small family.

My baby Marissa Anna started eating quite late at 7months old.
Started with fruit & vege purees; carrot, pumpkin, avocados, brocollis, corn, mangos, banana and my my she loved them all!
And to potatoes, sweet kumaras, and baby pastas.
She progressed quite fast on the food selection and preferred more solid textures.
She loves sitting in her baby chair waiting for dinner and get busy once the dinner started,
and mommy had to eat quickly just to entertain her with her messy food play!

Thanks to the Avent Phillips steamer and blender, which I used for Ammar too previously,
and it was so convenient for me!
Stars for Avent!

Can we jump to food review? haha.
Anna and food are always correlated. strongly. haha~~
We went to the famous Nasi Bamboo Sungai Klah on our way to otago reunion at Tanjung Malim, Perak.
At first, I was skeptical. Because nasi bamboo? sedap ke?? overrated kot.
The place looks big and packed with people.
Lucky we got place to sit.
And when I go to the food counter, I instantly know why people love this place!

The famous nasi bamboo and ayam kampong bakar, and kambing bakar, kerang bakar, udang bakar u name it, they have it there!

selection of ikan bakar, ulam ulaman, ayam kampong, ayam perc

I think my favourite pick would be grilled prawns, kerang and kambing bakar.
Seriously so sedap.
I rated it 8/10.
Worth stopping by this place every time you are in this area.
8months old Marissa Anna, and 3years 8months old Ammar Haikal on Hari Raya Aiduladha 2017 in Jeli Kelate~~ They look bright in yellow hue hhehe =P
Erm yeah, I have a brother, he loves me

Abg Ammar is growing up so handsome and dah big boy now.
Look at him. Macam abang abang.
Mmg abang pun.
He loves going to kindy and enjoys his days. Happy chirpy boy.
We love you dearly.
Now he plays with Marissa and finally accepted that she is her sister haha.
Dah dgr he says, Marissa, jangan kacauuu
Marissa jangan datang sinii,
Mommy, beratnya Marissa niiii (attempted to angkat Marissa when Marissa kacau his toys haha)

And when Marissa nearly 9months old,
Mommy daddy took some days off and went out cafe hunting.
Just to keep the sanity, haha.
After 9 months of no sleep, constant zombie, and forced to function normally at work and home, we decided to go for dates, just to get some fresh air hhehe~~
I think it's good for every parents, try it guys haha~~
Just make sure you have someone to look after the kids ya, or else you keep thinking about them the entire dates!

Well, we chose LOKL.
Sneaked out at almost 7am before the children wakes up, and headed out to KL.
Had big breakfast here and it was just as expected!
Great taste, nice ambience, not packed and just cozy.
Nice place to start your day!

Got to know this second cafe thru one of STF friends who loves this place so much.
And she was right, this place is so french.

We love it!
We had almost everything on the menu.
surprise surprise haha.
We even had macaroons for breakfast!
You have to get up early to have breakfast here as we noticed the place gets full at about 9.30am!
We definitely, definitely will come here again.
Levain Boulangerie Pattisserie.
Worth a try!

Next on the list was Rimba Rusa by wondermilk.
I would have to say that a lot goes to the deco in this cafe, because it is stunning!
Sweet and clean, and nice.
The food though, for me, just so-so.

We've tried Suka dukah meatballs, caramelized pulled beef toast, sunny benedict, bread and butter puddings, milkshakes and of course, the coffees.

I guess, maybe because it is fullhouse, or lack of staff, the food took quite some time.

Look at Ammar, yawning haha,
and Marissa's glum face,
and our trying-so-hard faces to remain calm waiting for our food haha~~

the place is cozy and my kids love looking at the lights, the colourful banner and the pretty cupcakes! tears involved!
hahaha,..and that is the most important of all!~

Ammar Haikal was so hungry, he just could not wait any longer!
Marissa Anna looking so calm, still able to smile...err a bit, haha~~
My 9 months old baby girl.
Weighing about 10+ kilos..
Babbles a lot these days.
Getting more curious I suppose, and cuddly.
Nak gigit je kalau tengok dia! hehe~~

Next cafe, Le Petit Dotty's, Platinum Park, KLCC.
I think I like this one a lot more than the others.
Especially when it has the killer cronut (crossant + donut!) with salted egg fillings!
It's heaven, must try!
It is a perfect spot to date with your husband in the early morning, in the heart of KL City.
Again, would certainly be back~~for the cronuts of course!
Marissa Anna, get ready get set go!

My dear Anna started crawling at the age of about 9months old.
She looks scared haha.
I mean with that dress on, surely crawling would be big challenge for her, ops sorryyy sayang!
She crawls slowly at first,
slowly gaining confidence, cruising all over the place,
just so adorable!
She grows up so fast la, mommy could not keep up!

Ammar and Marissa now get along much much better~~
Dah ajak Marissa jom Marissa jom swimmm
Mommy, mana Marissaaa?
Dah rinduuu! Alhamdulillah~~
Sayang adik Marissa okayy!

Marissa is showing greater interest towards communicating with her brother, 
Joining him play
and kacau him obviously.
Haha, and surely he does not like it haha..
Many things I enjoy doing in life, but nothing beats being a mother..

If people ask me,
do you regret postponing your studies for master?
If people ask me,
why you seem taking your lovely time..while everyone else pursuing their specialty,
If people keep on asking me,
when will you apply for master,
when Anna when???
can you ask this little Anna?
Maybe she has some answers for you!
hahhaa I bet she has!
Go ask her pleaseee!! ahhaha

Marissa Anna Humaira and Mommy Anna. One of best shot I got of her. I just love her expression here in this pic.
So adorable. Adorable Anna.
Let me tell you the truth.
The truth is, I love being me these days.
The days that I am a mother. a wife. a doctor at the same time. I work for the life with my husband and our kids. not the other way around.
I am not going to lie, I have big dreams.
I dream to become a great researcher, or a public health specialist, major in research, contributing to the world knowledge, and later picturing myself as a lecturer, to the medical students.
But, right now.
The children need their mom.
And I enjoy so much being with Encik Lebah and the children at all times.
Work can always wait, but the children only young once.
I will be the best mom I can and give them the best childhood a mother and a father can give, insyaAllah, rezeki Allah akan terbuka luas for me to pursue my big dreams in the future.
Mommy and 10-month-old baby Marissa Anna Humaira~~

Dome latest ambassador, for "get your pancakes now!" campaign! hehehe~~

Her. at 10months old.
Cut her 5th teeth this month!
Chuckles and laughs and copies others' expression.
Very curious, just like cats haha.
Sorry marissa haha.
but you just too cute.
Ive ran out of words to describe you!

Abg Ammar's favourite task.
Evening stroll with his sister.
On that classic stroller, made especially for Ammar in 2013.hihi.
Seen in this shot, taken in Sabak Bernam.

A mother's love for her children is like nothing else in the world..
It knows no law, no pity, 
It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path~~

Next, Ammar's and Marissa's birthday bash!
Stay tuned! ~~

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

My pantang story

24/11/2016, the birth of our girl, Marissa Anna Humaira marked the first day of my pantang journey.

Just like during Ammar's time, we decided to pantang at home..(Encik Lebah thought that staying with me will make sure I will stay sane! hehehe)

My mom and dad arrived here in Putrajaya since 3 days before admission.
and they stayed for a month!

I felt so much calmer this time as my mom was with me all the time, as well as Encik Lebah,of course.
I went thru pantang happily happily and less stress compared to the first time when my mom could only stay for 10 days as she was still working.
Your tiny little feet just melt my heart, baby~~

As I berpantang in double storey house, we have carefully  set up how am I going to berpantang without involving walking up n down the stairs.
We have placed a sofabed downstairs together with a cot and a baby wardrobe for my mom whenever she cares for Marissa while I am resting.
I absolutely love the sofabed, it is so worth the money spent!
It is so comfy and practical.
My mom also loves it so much, making her entire one month stay so comfy she said!
Hehehe~~gotta make ur mom happy ay?!

Baby Marissa is one happy baby, she cries occasionally whenever too hungry, or when mommy lambat sgt!
Baby Marissa so tiny, and rare photo of mommy in kain batik! Mommy and kain batik just dont go together haha,tak reti!!

I stayed upstairs for two weeks,
dpt special treatment in-room dining everyday hehe~~
I love the sup sayur and fish, sampai dua ekor!

Menu pantang me for two weeks were:

Breakfast- two slices of wholemeal bread n milo
Lunch- grilled chicken or beef, or fish with sup sayur, rice and navel orange
Dinner- same with lunch, just alternate the proteins

Gosh I was damn hungry!
I was hungry all the time!


I had to refrain myself from binging and all those good food, forget it, you tgh berpantang keh Anna!

I lost all my pregnancy weight just in the first week of pantang, since I gained a total of only 7kgs thru out this pregnancy despite of eating everything!

However, looking at that ugly tummy of 2scars, sigh...
Think of them this way,
they are the signs of two miracles that came out from you, Anna.
My babies, sleeping soundly while mommy ngantok gile!

They are the signs of motherhood, be proud!
Embrace the new new you.
A mother of two.

I did not have any bertungku
nor bertangas, berpilis bagai
No body massage except from Encik Lebah, since he got the talent!
I did not do berbarut and I only berjaya pakai stokin pantang for the first 10days!
Well, that was good enough for me already! Good job haha!

Anyway, I did not have all that because I had caesarian, I dont trust them manipulating my body with scarred uterus.
I have seen too many infected wound, post partum bleeding, internal bleed required exploration post caesarian, so I dont dare. Encik Lebah also dont dare to advise me to get all those traditional rituals done  during pantang.
And me being paranoid, is so not helping, obviously!
Call me crazy, but mmg tak berpantang pun huhu~~my mom said, nanti tua tua sakitla urat tu,huhu
I am an epic example of one stubborn doctor!
Princess Marissa, having her afternoon snooze~~

Day19, I had subway. and the craves kept on coming after that, Burger King, Auntie Anne's and many many more!

Luckily, my scar healed within a week, despite of me tak berpantang betul2, (but for the first 2weeks, I did not take any eggs, seafood or anything fried) alhamdulillah. maybe makan terlebih zat kot. byk sgt makan navel oranges!

Encik Lebah had his 7days paternity leave, yes only 7days huhu, sadly in Malaysia! He was very helpful with the baby and his ultimate baby, me myself! hehe~~He took care of the food on the table for us and making sure that I am stress-free. Love you Encik Lebah! Basically 90% of the household chores were done by him during the first few weeks.

We were quite well prepared for Marissa, but nothing prepares us for Ammar's biggest tantrum phase ever!

The first 44days were nightmares with Ammar.
Marissa and her brother, Ammar
He had extreme jealousy going on and on with Marissa,

He went crazy seeing me and daddy and everybody, keep on cuddling Marissa and pay more attention to her rather than him!

He became angry with everything, and started to toss everything at everyone, and screamed on top of his lungs whenever Marissa cried for milk or whenever Marissa made any noise.

He refused to sit or be near her, and he tried to separate me from Marissa, he kicked and kicked and kicked! He had sleep regression and started waking up screaming in the middle of the night. My oh my! This is killing us! I felt so sad to see him like this, I had to hand Marissa to my mom most of the time to calm Ammar and cuddle him.

We never thought Ammar will react like this! Totally unexpected since we thought we got him all prepared for Marissa. Certainly, we were wrong!

After few weeks of tantrums and aggressive behaviour, Ammar slowly cooled down.

Mommy, look at her tiny fingers!

Everyday, we will cuddle him and tell him that Marissa is her sister, Marissa will be with us and join us as a family.

We tried to involve him during nappy changing, during Marissa's bath times, and introduced Marissa to him. He responded well, and showed interest.

Mommy can i carry her??

One day I saw him, giggling to Marissa's coos, and holding her tiny hands & feet. Since then, he is becoming more gentle towards Marissa and after two months, I think he has accepted the fact that he has a baby sister, alhamdulillah~~ so adorable la Abang Ammar!

And he started to offer Marissa his Lightning Mcqueen and Tow Mater,
I saw him put his blankie on Marissa, showing signs that he is now willing to 'share' with Marissa, his little sister.
After school, he would ask, mommy where's baby?
I am proud of you, son!
sweet little brother, Ammar~~
Dont worry Ammar, you both will always be our babies okayy? Dont you ever worry about that, we have all the love in the world for you, insyaallah~~

Baby Marissa Anna Humaira at 1month old.
She begins to smile at 6weeks, and coo especially during morning time.
Our cutie pie, 4.7kg.

Baby Marissa doing acrobatics!

So chubby la, mommy tak larat nak carry you 24/7!
Sgt manja baby Marissa,
lagi 5x more manja than Ammar I think,
Baby girl kot hehe~~

The apple of our eyes~~

Baby Marissa at 2months old.
Completed her pentaxim, rotavirus and pneumococcal vaccines which cost a bomb!
Are you kidding me with those eyes??!

Cutie pie weigh 5.9kg at 2 months old!
Getting even more chubbier!

She will look at me every morning with that look, and give me sweet smiles,
She responds to me with her cute coos coos coos, and talks with her eyes.
Her kicks are getting stronger, and I noticed she starts looking at her cot mobile and look interested.
Just like her brother, she is now da pandai nak cry2 if tak nampak mommy or daddy around or near her!
Manja la princess ni~~~!

Nowadays, there are too many exotic diseases, we got to give her the best protection, selebihnya tawakal padaNya insyaallah~~

Marissa on her turun temurun punya rocker~
Khazanah from Abg Ammar hehe.
We call this rocker 'tolak-tolak" because it has small roda, that we use to tolak2 not to henjut2 like real rocker.
Unfortunately it is so difficult to find.
The usual version will have no roda, hence it is turun temurun, kalau rosak ni, mmg abess!

Pantang ended for me well at least betul betul pntang was for about 18days before I broke the pantang with Burger King, and followed by Kenny Rogers sigh~~nampaknya still failed usaha berpantang makanan this time around!

So forever I will be in this size, not going to get any slimmer Anna, thanks to your intense craving for food and your obsession towards good food and food channels!!

We went home to Kelantan at Day30 and out for a walk and jalan2 at Day30 ish. We avoid large crowd and outdoor although patutnya tak bawak kluar baby langsong Anna, haishh! Dont tiru mommy Anna okay?

Marissa had no bertungku, barut and bedung semua ke laut, mcm mommy dia!
Alhamdulillah she did not have yet any kembung perut or colic, she cries little and sleeps well,

I think compares to Ammar,
Baby Marissa is much more manja, wants to cuddle more before sleep, and refuses baby rocker most of the time.
She wants us to hold her to sleep, aduhai princessnyaaa! and she will make sad coos if she is in the carseat more than one hour, kalau abang Ammar 3jam pon masih sleep in the car, rileks je!

Anyway, hopefully she will adjust smoothly to this life outside my womb insyaallah just like Abg Ammar. and we also will adjust to this life having two kids sooner and the soonest we can!

With two kids, I understand sleep deprivation and extreme tiredness at a profound level!
I can barely take care of myself!
We can barely take care of ourselves, we look terrible! haha~~
We laughed at each other and ate maggi mee in the middle of the night while watching the kids sleeping and waiting for Marissa to rengek for milk every 2hours!
A sleepy daddy with his two kids!

Panda eyes, eyebags, messy houses, extreme exhaustion and trying to keep each other sane, were hardwork!

Songs and music, things that both of us have in common, were what making us survive this challenging times and year, without becoming mad, haha. songs and guitar and us, are inseparable, still bole nyanyi malam2, in the car and radio bergerak dlm rumah hehe~~be strong and be tough, parents!!

Above all that,

alhamdulillah for these lovely gifts from You, the most merciful

Having two kids, thought us that it is no longer about you you and yourself.

There's something way way more meaningful than what you own, what you wear, where you've been, or who you are, way more meaningful than everything else you ever own, name it, big house, branded stuff, designer clothes, millions of dollars, the pangkat you have, nothing else matters more now than to see these miracles given to you, growing up healthily, happily, and will love you forever, insyaAllah~~

Your house will never be that tidy anymore, it will always be messy,
but without our kids,
tomorrow wouldn't be worth the wait, and yesterday wouldn't be worth remembering..
InsyaAllah dilindungi olehNya dan dipelihara kesejahteraan kita dan anak2, amin.
Making the decision to have children is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body..
The Najibs~~

To the moms and dads out there who share this sleepless nights!!
To the moms and dads to be out there who will experience this sleepless nights sooner or later!