Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Happy 3rd Birthday our little Abg Ammar!

You are 3 years old today son!
The day you were born.
The day the mother in me was born too.
And I love you from the moment I know you are part of me, long before you were born.
Your kicks, your hiccups, your heartbeat, I love you long before I even see you for the first time.
The day I become a mommy.

Baby boy Ammar,
Your mommy now is 37weeks pregnant with your little sister insyaAllah, super tired and hormonal hehe,,and huge like a whale!

Daddy is also super duper tired doing the household chores, and taking mommy everywhere for her food cravings haha!

Mommy Ammar is heavily pregnant with insyaAllah your little sister, Baby M.
37weeks, 8kgs of total weight gain till date! 
Ermm, let's worry about that later, huh? hehehhe~~

Seeing you mumble happy birthday songs almost everyday for the past week, gave us some strength to at least get you a cake!
Not just any cake, but Cars Lightning McQueen cake!
His current obsession of course!

Happy Ammar looking so excited to taste his Lightning McQueen cake!
Priceless smiles!~~
Birthday boy definitely so happy!

I would have design the cake myself so that it will be easier, but since Lightning McQueen is such a simple theme, 
so I let prettyyummythings to do the edible printing kind of cake! 
Inside was a Neapolitan cake, with three layers of flavours; Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry.
and the cake tasted so nice!!
we absolutely loved the cake!!

..and of course Ammar was over the moon having this cake for his birthday!!
So happy and I would say, super excited when everyone's ready to sing him Happy Birthday song!
A small celebration means the world to this little kiddie of ours

Ammar just could not wait much longer to cut his cake!
hahahha, dah macam monster tu nak nganga terus ngap~~!

Aunty Udeq, came with Uncle Wan and their two princesses Arissa n Adeena,
Aunty Aini with Uncle Raja and Ibrahim n baby dlm tummy aunty!
and Aunty Melor with Uncle Arswad, princess Kuntum and their new arrival Arjuna Jihad!
Last time we gathered, we have one kiddo, then two kiddos, hahahha our place getting more crowded each year I would say!

So difficult to get shots that have everyone in hahahaha, chaos!!

Pretty pregnant Aini with birthday boy, and the mommies, and daddies!

The kids had so much fun socialising and showing so much attitudes towards each other hahaha,
things getting out of control and there's some yelling some throwing haha the normal things you see when you have friends with kids!!
And I just love that so much!!
Our living room looked like tongkang pecah in just few minutes hahahaha, and the adults just could not converse for more than 5 minutes without kiddos trying to get some extra attention hahaa sabar aje lah!!
Anyhow, it was fun for the kids and us of course

Ammar Haikal and Nur Arissa,
comelnya main slide together gether!!
Melt melt~~

Erm, this is how we, boys, socialise mommies, hahahhaa, jumping and climbing around the sofa!
Good job making us all tired of saying, no no no nanti jatuhhh!!~~ hehehe

Ammar Haikal with Raja Ibrahim~~

Ammar Haikal with Kuntum Dhia Sakura, yg sgt suka shopping trolley tu since last year she came here hahahhaa~~ she still loves it!
Mmg akak2 kawasan sgt Tuntum nih!
Big sister to little Arjuna~~

Me, Aini cikhens and Melor, pregnant berjemaah this year.
and alhamdulillah Melor has successfully completed her pantang period and graduated flying colours, siap dah kurus dah!
so me and cikhens are counting days.
getting more nervous each day.
praying for uneventful delivery and recovery insyaAllah amin.
the anxiety and uncertainties faced by pregnant mothers..that only yg mengalami je faham kann perasaan susah hati seorang ibu.!
My elective caesarian for previous scar n cpd will be on 23/11/2016, and I am praying hard that Allah will permudahkan delivery of a healthy n cute baby, and uneventful surgery as well as recovery for me insyaAllah. amin.

Aunty Melor da abes pantang looking so slim, Aunty Udeq yg maintain cantik doing her masters with two daughters!, and huge pregnant ladies only 5days apart!

Thank you aunties and uncles yg every year dtg for Ammar.
thanks for your time, your love and affection towards Ammar Haikal, sanggup beria2 nak dtg Putrajaya jgk for your birthday,

Rancak berborak geng mommies and daddies,
while the kids running around the house haha~~

Mommy Aini cikhens and Mommy Udeq tgh chit-chatting while me doing the photo job hahahha, dah buyung pon masih bertenaga ambik gamba semua org!

Baby Arjuna yg sgt behave, chill je mama dia~~
Such a good boy Arjuna~!
Welcome to the club!

Raja Ibrahim yg sgt chatty and busy!!
Da tak kesahkan mama dia dah!
Ammar, mana boleh lick pisau kek okay, hahahhah omg sedap sgt ke kek ni Ammar Haikal?!
So cute!

Even though semua jauh2, even mommy pon tak larat nak throw birthday party, haha, but because of your favourite aunties n uncles ni, nak potluck kecil2 kecilan for Ammar and Ammar pun asyik nyanyi lagu birthday sorg2 je, alalalala sian dia,
dptla celebrate your birthday simple2,
and celebrate the arrival of Arjuna Jihad,
and also for mommy2 preggy yg counting days!
catch up sessions with mommies and daddies~~
and most importantly, the kids had so much fun getting together!

Excited happy chirpy little birthday boy opening his presents!
Thank you so much aunties and uncles,
He absolutely loves the books, the montessori play n all~~
Thanks a bunch!

Battery habis sambil partially baring on the sofa, hence tertido berdiri!
hahahahhaa, birthday boy kepenatan~~!

Thank you Daddy Ammar yg tolong mommy decorate sikit2 and gantung balloons for Ammar, sbb mommy da sarat sgt tp Ammar suka balloons!
Ammar happy sgt2!!! Sampai habes energy dok gelak gumbira lari sana sini with frens!
Thank you Daddy kemas2 aftermath, we love you so much️ one in a million daddy.

Thank you aunties n uncles for the gift, books, Ammar terus baca buku mlm tu jgk ahhahaa.
Thanks so much for making my boy happy on his birthday 🎉

Dear Ammar,
Mommy Daddy pray that we and Ammar and your baby sister insyaAllah, akan sentiasa dilindungi olehNya,
diberikan bahagia here and hereafter,
dan Mommy Daddy doakan Ammar jadi anak yang soleh, kiyut, cerdik pandai, sihat dan membesar jadi org yg berbakti pada semua insyaAllah amin.

Happy 3rd Birthday Abg Ammar!

Mommy and Daddy.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

What to expect, when you are expecting....2nd child?

Alhamdulillah, we are pregnant again.
after 2 years plus.
It was unexpected. but syukur alhamdulillah~
We found out in early May,
I thought I was stressed out with work, and that I was easily irritable because of work, presentations in Singapore and stuff, I even thought there's something wrong with my menses??? haha, paranoia sungguh!
InsyaAllah this coming November, hopefully hujung November, Ammar will become little brother to our baby in my tummy~~

I am nervous, as usual. (paranoid mom!)

And being a doctor, the paranoia got a lot worse!
(yes, especially when you hear about pregnancy-related complications, prenatal complications and etc. every day, and medicolegal cases..sigh~~~ its not easy to become a preggy mommy and a doctor at the same time! you tend to think too much!!)
and you feel scared to feel happy.
And having this scar.
My previous scar.
The thoughts just keep on coming.
Can it hold my baby for 9months, is it strong enough?
And bile paranoia da semakin datang, always have to remember that all of that is beyond our control..
It is in Allah's hands.
We just have to usaha for the best, and tawakal to Him, insyaAllah dipermudahkan, amin.~~

Daddy, Mommy, Ammar and Baby M.~~16weeks of pregnancy on Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2016

Reaction Encik Lebah to this pregnancy, was..biar betul?? hihihi.
ha betul la ni, ade baby dalam tummy ni Encik Lebah! alhamdulillah~~
and he is so happy.
Org lelaki kan dia tak pregnant takpela tak takutttt! haippp!
We booked for check up at KK Precint 18 and then KK Precint 11, Putrajaya.
Had early scans done by my pretty fren, Dr.Hazlin Azzamiza, hehe, and then follow-ups at Presint 11.
And went for few detail scans and 4D HD scan in privates.
And......was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM) ataupon kencing manis mengandung at 16weeks! my MOGTT test was 4.0/8.0, masa Ammar normal je, uhuhuhu,
Lagila paranoia, adoiii~~

Risk factors to developing GDM includes:
-Age >25  huhu YES
-BMI above 30 ...Nope
-History of parent or siblings with GDM....huhu YES, my dad got DM
-Race of asian, black, hispanic...YES asian
There is currently no evidence linking dietary habit with developing GDM.

mmmm..tu la walaupon in denial, tapi what to do, have to accept the fact that I am labelled as GDM on diet control, heheheh.
Diagnosed with GDM under diet control, means you have to go for appointment every 2weeks and do blood sugar profiles (4x per day)!
so I've been dragging myself to clinics every 2 weeks since 18weeks till now..phewww~!
I have tried to cut the sugary intake, well I dont have sweet tooth but since I become pregnant with our second child, I've been having intense cravings for sweets, ice creams, desserts, cakes, which are so not me.
                                                                                                                      Mommy and Daddy at Baling, Kedah, 20weeks of pregnancy

Totally different compared to when I was carrying Ammar.
During his time, I kept on craving savoury dishes, meaty meals, lamb, lamb and lamb! mmg sgt baby boy symptoms masa tu kann.
But this time, semuanya nak manisssss!
so not helping with having GDM! sigh~~
But I try my best, taking small portion of meals each time, doing lots of walking.

Still craving for this northen indian cuisine, sama during Ammar's time.
~~at D'Tandoor Ayer @ 8, Putrajaya

I walked to Alamanda everyday from my workplace (about 15min walk) till I was about 30 weeks. (sbb Encik Lebah risau jatuh dah sbb da kembang kan haha)
and of course, lots of walking that involves shopping hahha.
Good excuse kan! But bad for my purse haha.

And, after we did some detail scans, we found out that we are having a baby girl.
Ammar will insyaAllah have a little sister!
Mommy and Daddy yg have no clue, cane nak prepare for baby girl eh.
Masa Ammar dulu, everything simple je,
pilih je tiger lion, jungle animals haha,
ini mommy pegi nak beli barang, pening tgk semua kaler pink!
Apa pun, boy or girl, insyaAllah dipermudahkan pregnancy, delivery and jaga baby M nnt jadi anak solehah, sihat, comey, pweetyy rupa dan akhlak insyaAllah amin. Doakan keh.

Babymoon in Cherating, Pahang.
22weeks pregnant with Baby M

Ammar's reaction?
Ha...yg ni kitorg risau. haha.
Sbb abg Ammar sgt manja.
Tidur pon kene hug2 baru sleep.
And he's been having the luxury of time with us for the past almost 3 years without competition.
What will be his reaction when he sees mommy and daddy ade little girl??
Now he knows my tummy ade baby.
He will come to me and kiss baby
Baby sleep.
Hug my tummy if nak sleep.
If mommy beli clothes for baby, he will say baju babyy
But I dont think he knows hahahhaha lepas ni kena share with his lil sister~~!
Mommy daddy hope Ammar nnt happy ade fren iaitu your little sister kat rumah keh, insyaAllah~~
Be good tau, big brother!
Having previous scar from caesarian section, and GDM,
buat mommy risau siang malam, hhahah over tak.
But it's true.
Every pregnant mommy usually worries about everything.
the birth, our baby, what will happen after that, everything..
Anyhow, you have to tawakal padaNya, InsyaAllah dipermudahkan semuanya, amin.

Blue sky holiday~~
Ammar, Daddy, Mommy and Baby M.
at 29th weeks of pregnancy.

This second pregnancy is so much different from last 3years back.
I feel more tired, more hormonal,
more irritable,
senang nak sedih2,
Encik Lebah pegi lokum pun nak sedih!
the back pain is so intense,
and I had many episodes of colicky pain over my tummy,
sampai peluh2 dahi tgn semua,
I cannot eat any spicy food, or else the colicky pain worsens,
maybe because of my age hahaha tua sgt dah ke???
 and my previous scar, so my inside has changed compared to the last pregnancy, thats just my theory.

Big brother Ammar giving mommy his senyuman manis! hihi.
Mak mak obsessed ngan anak sendiri hahhaha 

The one thing that remains the same is my will to walk and shop! hahahaha.
Ni Encik Lebah mmg akui nih, bab ni mmg I magically become sihat and kuat terus hehehehhe~~
Actually, da lambat jgk start beli barang this time, sbb the pregnancy rasa macam cepat sgt,
Suddenly dah 8 months pregnant.
Anxious punya anxious, dah kene start carik barang2.
So as with Ammar, we bought the big bulky things first.
We bought Quinny Zapp Xtra 2014 Red Denim and Maxicosi Raspberry Red, it was on sale that time, we got it for RM 1750.
You can check out instagram for great deals on Quinny and Maxicosi.
Too bad masa Ammar dulu, takde lagi instagram,
haha so we bought it much more expensive than Baby M's.
We loves this stroller so much, it is practical, flexible and can recline up to three levels.
This stroller is super comfortable, just look at Abg Ammar dozing off in Ikea in that hahahaha~~

We chose raspberry red because we couldnt get it during Ammar's time, hehe, takde stock time tu! This maxicosi also sgt2 berguna to us, from balik hospital till about 11months old~~
Abg Ammar dah rasmikan stroller Baby M.
hihi~~marah nnt adik dia tau!

Next, we think it is quite unsafe to let baby baring kat our living hall, with Abg Ammar running around actively, scaryy laaa.! So we bought IKEA cot and put it downstairs, in the living room.
Harap abg Ammar tak libas2 baby dlm cot dgn blankie dia tu hhehe~~

Our house dah macam kindy.
Segala macam mainan ade kat living room.
So, I think it is quite unsafe to have a baby lying on a mat while there is an active toddler jumping around across the living room.
I hope Baby M will be safe in the cot, insyaAllah.
Look at Abg Ammar tu,
concentrate sungguh dgn train tracks dia kan, kan!
Gewamm mommy tengok~~

This time around, we went to two baby fairs only,
compared to countless baby fairs last time hahaha. (over time tu!)
We went to the KLCC's and SACC's baby fair.
I only bought few bottles and teats from Avent during that time.
Because you can get much cheaper online nowadays!

For future mommy to be, mommies2,
here are some of Mommy Ammar punya royanan membeli kat baby fairs~~

-Avent bottles and teats, slow and medium flows
-Some Avent breastmilk storage cups,
-Baby Organix baby clothes detergent and
-Baby Organix head to toe wash~

We bought the same products like during Ammar's time, because they are all good stuff and hopefully this time, it will benefit Baby M too, insyaAllah~~

Baby essentials~

-Toiletries set from Anakku
-Baby cotton buds
-Mamy poko wet wipes..I think brand Mamypoko ni best, for Ammar last time
-Some mittens and booties, dapat from Anakku and Mothercare, that time sale sampai 3mittens tu RM 3.80 je from Mothercare.
I like! hehehe~~
-Beg baby for clothes,
-Towels from IKEA, hooded towels are easier, and comel! hehehe~~
and kelambu baby Anakku.

Actually we got all these from rewards treatpoints, so dapat coupons from Parkson..yay!
dapat almost RM400 coupons from Parkson~~
Alhamdulillah rezeki baby M. :)

Some more baby mommy essentials:
hhahhaha semua pon essentials eh???
Essentials utk alasan mommy nak kluar pegi beli barang hehhehe~~

-Mamypoko newborn diapers..I love this newborn diapers, it is soft and good for newborn.
cuma not good for the purse la huhu, tp sbb during Ammar's time pakai this one, takut nak beli yg brand lain.
-Cotton balls, wash cloth,
-Disposable panties for mommy, disposable breast pads,
-Flannel blankets
-Newborn size baju from Baby Kiko and Anakku, I bought few pairs since nanti takut nurse kat hospital complain if baju onesies, butang2 pelik sana sini hehehe~~

Then, ter pergi GM Klang,
The damage is done!
Terus rambang mata dengan semua baju2 sleepsuits baby, and rompers.
And it is cheaper if you buy more than 3 packs,
the sleepsuits i got about RM40 per pack, and rompers RM23 per pack.
I told ya, the damage is done~~ sigh
And, my office is just next to Alamanda.
How can I resist that?
kata2 seorg shopaholics!

Went to Alamanda, nampak Mothercare pulak.
To be honest, I seriously have no idea, how to buy for baby girl!
Their clothes are just so cute and complicated!
They are all either pink or shocking pink, peach, anything between~~
Ada baby tights, rompers, dress with romper,
mommy pening tatau nak pilih yg mana.

Last2, pilih yg My First Mothercare sets ni je, ade semua mende, hahaha senang!

And these dresses, daddy yg pilihkan utk Baby M.
Masa Ammar's time, daddy pilihkan rompers panda, haha, now daddy pilih dresses??

Daddy and his daughter, insyaAllah Amin.

Mommy hopes for doa from family and friends,
permudahkanla pregnancy and delivery of Baby M, sbb mommy takut sgt nak bersalin~
InsyaAllah dilindungi olehNya.

Bila beli brg baby, alhamdulillah rasa lebih tenang, InsyaAllah baby will arrive safely, amin.
Hari2 mommy daddy doakan.
Abg Ammar pon doakan.

Abg Ammar masih sgt manja!
Nak berkepit je with us.
tapi mommy rasa, Abg Ammar will be a good brother to you nnt insyaAllah baby M.
He is such a lovely brother,
walaupon sgt manja! tgk tu!

Ammar Haikal and mommy and baby M inside,
33 weeks of pregnancy.
I am huge, i know!
But this time, my belly jatuh macam tu,
org kata baby girl mmg macam tu? i dont knowla

Birthday celebration for preggy mommy~
Masih craving lamb and steak yeah?
Nope, this time, it is the kicking shrimps.
Sedap sgt!!!
Kicking shrimps are damn good! Kick sungguh heheh~~

Thank you daddy for celebrating my birthday with Abg Ammar and baby inside tummy.
Love you to the moon and back and to the moon n planets and back here again and again! heheheh~~

My love, my life, my soul.
hihi Abg Ammar senyum buat mommy melt melt melt la!

There are many things, sampai dah tatau macamana nak expect having second child,
would i be a good mom? would Encik Lebah be a good daddy of two?
or nanti i become monster je sebab penat?
and bole ke cope with two kids, nak sediakan makanan, nak ajar diorg, nak didik,
nak layan karenah, nak kerja lagi?
Can we keep up?
apa pun, rezeki utk anak itu pasti, kita kene usaha utk sediakan yg terbaik,
didik dan jaga semampu yang boleh, insyaAllah~~

For right now,
Mommy kene ready,
Ammar akan clingy, patah hati nnt nampak ade baby lain selain dia hehehe,
and mommy daddy kena usaha utk kehidupan lebih baik,
kena usaha utk jadi parents yg beriman dan soleh solehah untuk didik anak2,
berusaha utk jadi sabar, lebih matang, and loving for both of our children, insyaAllah~~
semoga niat ni dipermudahkan olehNya, amin.
Abg Ammar has been singing Happy Birthday song hari2 dah ni,
macam tahu tahu je birthday dia dah dekat!
Mana mommy nak carik kek cars lightning mcqueen dah la mommy boyot2 ni tak larat hihi.
We'll find a cake keh!~~
anything for you la big brother!

Love you my Encik Lebah and my baby boy Ammar Haikal.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Little baby now a little boy

My baby Ammar  will turn 3 years old this coming November, insyaAllah..and mommy just could not believe how fast you have grown, Ammar!
From tiny little Ammar to a happy chirpy boy!

Our baby Ammar yang forever baby in our eyes~~
Our first born.

He is happy, manja and growing up.
He can pretty much run upstairs and carelessly rush downstairs despite mommy saying slow down and slow down, everytime!
He jumps whenever he has any opportunity haha, activenya
He enjoys walkabouts, trips to gardens, playgrounds, malls, or even pegi pasar pun happy semacam hehe. He loves to be outdoor just like any other boys kan?
The speech wise, he is progressing.
Now he is 2y11months old, I can now identify some ayat tak berapa lengkap hihi, like...
"Mommy, help, nak icecweamm"
"Mommy, help open door"
"Mommy, get the ball"
"Oh look mommy, bridge, tower"
"Oh no, sakit la mommy"
so cute!!

So, there is some progression, although if compared to his peers, diorg semua dah pot pet pot pet hahahaha, takpe Ammar, slowly you will catch up, mommy tunggu okay.
Dulu mommy tunggu Ammar cakap mommy for two years, haha now Ammar is calling me every 10 seconds! Nak solat pun, mommy, cak cak?? hihi~~
Now Ammar dah suka berlakon, berlakon citer dibo, citer sofia hehhe, citer pocoyo, tapi Ammar belum suka upin ipin ke boboi boy ke, masih obsess dgn Cars, Monster inc. Toy story.
So dah tau dah cake Ammar ape this year eh, insyaAllah Cars Lightning Mcqueen!~
sgt boy kan dia now..~~

So, saje2 refer Ammar to a speech therapy specialist, and she said, Ammar just kurang stimulation since he stays with a nanny, compares to toddlers yg stay in nursery or playschool.
InsyaAllah next year, Ammar will join tadika for half day,
So I pray and I hope Ammar will soon catch up,
and talks sampai mommy macam owh Ammar, plis senyap sikit kekekekkeke, insyaAllah.
Asalkan, the danger signs are not there.
Boleh buat revised MCHAT score utk screen.
Healthcare providers and public can refer to our Clinical Practice Guidelines (CPG) Management of Autism Spectrum Disorder in children and adolescents for guidance, at www.moh.gov.my

Ammar's first overseas trip, haha to Singapore je!
Had his passport stamped!
We had great time during this visit, 
Went to Universal Studios, the zoo, and underwaterworld,
Just look at Ammar,
hhaha baring tgk shark!

Such a miracle, in such a little boy
Ammar Haikal enjoying his view at Underwater World, Singapore~~
April 2016

Food wise, Ammar likes to eat, surprise surprise! haha just like mommy and daddy ay?
He loves nasik goreng udang, (mcam mommy!), chicken rice, roasted chicken, baked fish fillets, hashbrown, bolognese, carbonara, alfredo pasta, mushroom soup (ini mcm daddy),
He still loves carrots, dont mind all the onions, mixed veges, celery, spring onions or coriander.
He loves lettuces, and fruits, bagila banana, pear, pineapple, mango ape2 semua dia ngap! hahhaha
He only takes milk about 2-3 bottles per day now, as he eats 3 meals per day.
I try to limit the sugary intakes, and processed food, but occasionally he will have that.
I dont wanna steal his fun childhood with no this no that.

And of course we cannot protect them forever, but..do the best that we can.
In moderation is still okay. I give him ice cream sometimes for rewards, burgers n chips occasionally and some Auntie Anne's pretzel, but otherwise he will have banana or watermelon, fresh fruit juices or dadih as dessert.
I am quite particular with cakes, chocolate cakes especially, maybe because I myself dont fancy them much, but I am concern about giving cakes, cookies n biscuits to toddlers regularly,
because usually they tend to prefer the sweet things rather than eating the real food like rice, pasta, noodles and veges.
and of course, this will lead to obesity, malnutrition, and picky eating, and also tooth decay.
We have to fight child obesity as much as we fight adult obesity.
Stop letting them be couch potatoes, screen addicts, game addicts, munching on crackers, sweets, ice creams.
They maybe look cute now, but this will take tolls on their confidence level later on in life,
the bullying at school, the name-calling, bob la gemukla, and self-esteem issues when they enter kindergarten and primary school.
So lets fight obesity!
Let them play outside, stop the gadgets, reduce the sugary intakes,
Malaysia is the no 1 country having the most obese people in entire Asia, lets not make it no 1 to the entire world population shall we!
Healthy eating starts from home.
and it starts with you.
so jom exercise with mommy n daddy keh Ammar hehehe!
(sorry for the doctor-y talk again hahaa cant help it!)

One more thing, I can see now that he is so into books!
I dont know how long it will last, but I hope it will last longggg, I love seeing him reading the books, and imagine the characters.
He would say, wow mommy, look, happy birthday monster sullivann...happy birthday mike wazowski hahaha,
And the pretend plays,
so adorable.
Pretend potong rumput mcm uncle2 bangla tu, haha, pretend dia main golf, haha and pretend jadi doctor!He would take our stetoscopes, sangkut kat leher, hahahaha, and check my heart, check teddy, check cars, semua toys pun dia check, macam his fav cartoon Dr McStuffin tu, hihi!

Next, insyaAllah Ammar's birthday this coming 15th November.
Mommy n Daddy will buy you a cake!
Jadi anak soleh, sihat, pintar, bersopan santun dan kiyut keh! InsyaAllah amin~~

My baby Ammar and mommy,
Pantai Cahaya Bulan, Jun 2016.

P.S I still remember the excruciating pain I had for two days before I finally gave birth to you my son, about 3years ago.
I love you.

Monday, September 5, 2016

The journey of housemanship and life married to a doctor!~

Today I am going to write about life as a doctor and married to another doctor!
It sounds hectic.
Yes it is.
You know what they say that..medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else?
Yes, I cannot imagine what am I going to do if I were not a doctor.
I cannot sketch, I am useless when it comes to being creative, I am clueless about designing, numbers, organizing, talking and many more!
So just be a doctor, okay? haha.

Being a doctor has been so amazing.
I don't think that I will ever have a job quite so fun ever again. (I like to find fun in everything that I do, so...it might not be so much fun for everybody hehehe)
I will not tell you that it's easy, it is a very long process!foundation, 6 years of medical school, 2 years of housemanship, years of residency..and even longer years of specialization,  and finally you get to be what you have trained all your life for.
It will be worth it.
At least that was what people has been telling me all these years, haha

I was 26!
Muda remaja sangat , doctors mmg start keje pon dah tua hahahahahha~~

Honeymoon masa houseman, cuti sehari pon Encik Lebah drove us to Kuching, pegi pantai!

After I graduated in 2009, and after I took six months of rest!
(yes you should go backpacking, travelling around the world, well at least New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, for me hehe, you should enjoy the sun, go to the beach, go to cafes, eat whatever, before you are doomed to start housemanship in Malaysia!)
I was placed at Sibu Hospital, Sarawak.
Yes, Sarawak.
My husband (during that time, he was still a boyfriend, hehe) was also placed there.
There were few others with him, but they all bailed out at the very last minute
(well, I guess they were uncertain of the joy, fun, and adventures that Sarawak will give to them!)
So he went there alone.
and..I have been to so many difficult places, so Sarawak, Borneo is just another challenge, and I took it with a brave heart!
and I am very proud of myself~~
I went there about 2 months after him.
I would have gone to Sarawak any way regardless of him being there or not.
Why hesitated?  If it's good it's wonderful, if its bad, it's experience, no regret!
Many were afraid of doing housemanship in Malaysia, let alone in Sarawak.
My advise, go to Sarawak! Go somewhere far from your comfort zone, you are young and free!~
Naik boat, naik helicopter, pegi rural areas, dont just stay in Klang Valley, bed of roses, go see the real life of our people, the struggle to live, to survive and then you will learn.
Many have succumbed to the extremely demanding ,heart-wrenching, and tough training during housemanship.
But it had made you who you are today.

Anna and Najib doing the nights call together, and bersengkang mata berhari2 di emergency depatment aahhahaha, how romantic!
during that time, I know no bedak, no lipstick, no eyeliner whatsoever, since I got that panda eyes for free hahaha~~

The lowest in the hierarchy of a hospital. (at least, that was what it felt like!)
I was about two months behind my husband in each postings, and coming back from New Zealand, made me feel so clueless about working in our Malaysian wards.
Obviously, there's no more phlebotomists. no more fancy equipments, no more friendly people, haha!
They were all looking so exhausted and angry.
I did not blame them, as the workloads were huge.
I earned the nicknames of "Otago", "Otago girl", "New Zealand HO (house officer)" since my first day, and my first posting was Paediatrics. (just kill me!)
It took me about one year to lose the accents, and master the skill of malaysian english haha.
There were only about ten of us, the malay fellas doing housemanship, in the whole hospital, and everybody else around us were speaking Chinese!
I used to laugh (well, actually annoyedd!) whenever I got the turn to jot down the management plan, and my fellow collegues were speaking Chinese, they soon realized that it was not appropriate, and spoke English, finally. sigh~~
But I got to pick up some chinese words, and at the end of my housemanship training, I can make quite good guess on what they are saying despite of not knowing foochow.
I would say, Medicine and Paediatrics were the hardest.
The toughest of all.
Many have fallen.

I remember, my first day of houseman.
I was afraid to take lunch break, dinner break, and I came back to hostel at 12am. ..and I had to tag for more than two weeks.
(new houseman required to do tagging with senior houseman from 7 am till 11 to 12 midnight for about 2weeks back then!)
It was tiring, and depressing not seeing the sun for weeks..! But I did not crumble. (with the help of friends and Encik Lebah, of course!)
I managed to absorb the pressure well, I became skin and bones due to hectic schedule being a houseman. But i learned heaps.
We all, the housemen, usually sneaked in to the pantry looking like hungry zombies and ate the hospital food (the leftovers of course, huhu can i cry now? haha)
Looking back at it, being a houseman, was absolutely torture (due to long working hours back then, and shortage of staff) but was a fantastic experience!
And the pay was quite good for newbies, (you get extra allowance if you work in Sarawak ehehhee)
So countless fancy restaurants for dinner that time hahahah (I wish I save some duhhhhhh!)
I was intrigued by the seriousness of the job, and the amount of expectations from everybody, just killing us all haha.
During that time, I kept telling myself that this will be over in two years and you will look back and laugh about it! And I did~~ :)

Memories in Hospital Sibu, Sarawak~~
Double chest tubes, flail chests, patah riuk, CPRs, kes sembelih2 org, omg!! I love the adrenaline rush!!

I remember that most of our time were in the hospital.
I can barely remember, the time that I was free during housemanship.
We worked seven days a week!
And we survived!
Even got married during the second year of housemanship! haha.
My husband and I, enjoyed our housemanship training, despite of all the hardship,
We made good friends, Faridah, Nurul, Hanif, Hisham, Abu, Ahmad, Shiv, Robert Lau (ini karakter pembuli houseman terbaik!), Brian, Priscilla, Naomi, Mei Ting, the twins, many more, the MOs, the specialists, the nurses, the MAs, I could not name everyone here, but they are good friends and acquaintances!
We helped each other and usually went out for dinner together during postcalls (after 36 hours of staying awake, we still manage to go for food, karaoke, movie nights and badminton!! So much energy back then! haha tgh muda remaja la kan~

Sweet sweet moments having your husband as your fellow colleague;~~
We can talk just about everything!
..He knows exactly what I am talking about, and we can express our excitement or likes and dislikes towards anything haha it usually about hospitals, diseases and treatments and attitudes and whatever related to medical profession haha!
Loser sungguh doctors kann hehe.,

We enjoyed helping each other during oncalls~~
..Spend the nights in tiny oncall rooms, and had to get up at 3 or 4 am to help him take bloods of the whole dengue ward, haha, and I enjoyed this so much.
He would stay in the oncall room whenever I was oncall, and helped me buy food, making sure that I eat..hehehe..mmm..Mmg sehati sejiwa betul time tu rasanya chewah! macam grey's anatomy gitu.:P

We can talk in that strange language of medicine and people wont have a clue ooopssss!

It is just so exciting to go to work with someone you love hhahaha sorry if it sounds so cornyyyyyyy heheehhee :P

Work hard also means play hard, so day off or holidays will be so meaningful and precious, so yes, went to europe during housemanship for honeymoon, and seluruh sabah sarawak and peninsular Malaysia, till now dah tatau nak kemana!!

...the not so sweet moments ???

Being scolded for silly mistakes in front of your husband and he could not do anything other than smiling haha

You were in the same department and in the same hospital, but have not seen each other for days!

When you had the day off, and your husband still working = not going anywhere, might as well just go to work and spend time together in the emergency department!!

When you are just so tired working, day off equals to sleeping the whole day and not talking to anyone including your husband!! hahahahaha

When you both are so busy, and have not seen your family or relatives for quite some time, and missing out on all the weddings, kenduri kendara and people were like, where have you both beeeeenn???!!!!

And now,
after Sarawak, after Kuala Lipis, another district after another,
after all the dramas,
hardwork in the hospitals,
we got pregnant with Ammar, that has changed everything.
We realized it's not always about us anymore, hehehe :P
We decided to venture into non-clinical medicine, and landed in Putrajaya.
And it is a great place for us.
We learn the other side of medicine, and still doctors! (coz people usually generalized doctors equal to blood and hospital only hehehe)
Contributing to the world of evidence based medicine, policy making, health economy and such.
We have definitely found our passion.
After all these years..

But above all that,
Seeing the sun and the sunset, everyday.
Having the luxury of time with kids,
is so so priceless.
Alhamdulillah~~thank you Allah for this opportunity

p.s no matter what kind of doctors you gonna be, be a great one, a humble one, a caring one, a loving one, and enjoy your work doctors!